The Man Who Stared at My Feet

…and the science and somatic truth of why your feet are quietly running your entire life.

I met a man when I was 11 who had a foot fetish.

You read that right. At 11, I learned what:

1. a fetish was and

2. that feet could be one of them.

A strange education for a Saturday afternoon at Barnes & Noble, but the universe be dramatic like that.

When I was growing up my mom took herself out for a solo date every Saturday. She would wake up around 8:30a, eat a little breakfast, Special K was in constant rotation (yay 90’s diet culture), she would then retreat to her room where she would blast BookTV (yes that is a real channel) while riding her exercise bike for around 45-60 minutes, jump into a shower and then leave her bedroom door open to cool down.

When the door was open we were to stay far away, which meant immediately that the kitchen was off limits. Major bummer. See my mom got ready in her bra and underwear, a practice I would also implement later in life, and with her door open, she didn’t want us catching a glimpse. Which was somewhere between thoughtful, but also torture because our only phone was in the kitchen, so god forbid a friend called. Side note: I grew up in the era where phones were attached to walls and commonly in kitchens.

Her Saturday ritual would conclude around 11:30-12p, when she would then take herself out to lunch and a movie, or sometimes she would just take herself to our local Barnes and Noble, grab an ice tea and a sweet treat, find her favorite booth and read for hours in the cafe.

On a rare occasion, she would ask if I would like to join. Obviously, I would play it super cool, but on the inside I was stoked. Sometimes we would go to La Petite Cafe where I would get a cinnamon sugar bagel, turns out that would be the only bagel I would ever love, and then we would stop at Walgreens to pick out our movie candy. Hot Tamales or SnoCaps were my go to’s.

On this particular day, she asked if I wanted to come with her to Barnes and Noble.

YES! …I mean… sure… I could come.

So off we went. First stop, the cafe where I would order a Mocha Frappachino (or as my Dad still calls them, FrappyCrappies). This would be as close to coffee as I would ever get. More on this later. My mom then would nestle into her favorite corner booth, after talking to her favorite barista Josh. She would one day work this cafe with Josh, but again, that’s a story for another day. Once she was all tucked in, I would sneak off to the magazines where I would grab every music magazine I could reach. Then, I’d find a spot on the floor at the end of one of the aisles and get to work. Once I completed my rotation of RollingStone, AP, Spin, Hit Parader and whatever else was on the shelves, I would make my way over to the New Age section, the early portal that would shape my entire life.

Astrology, tarot, Wicca, chakras. Even at eleven, I felt more at home between those shelves than almost anywhere else. I always ended up here. On this particular day, sitting on the floor at the end of the New Age bookcase, which during that time was more like a section and less of the aisle it is now, I was deep into my book all about being a witch, nature and our connection to it all when a gentleman who had to be about 40 stopped and said:

“You have very beautiful feet.”

Not “What are you reading?”

Not “Excuse me.”

Not even eye contact.

Just… foot contact.

I think I whispered “thank you?” The man floated away like he had completed a quest and once I was sure he was gone, I quickly put my book away where I had found it and quickly walked to the cafe to tell my mom what had just happened.

She calmly sipped her iced tea, putting her book down and said, “He must have a foot fetish.”

HUH????

So in a Barnes & Noble café booth, I learned about fetishes.

Little did I know: my feet would become one of the great themes of my life. You might say, I have a fetish. But not really. But maybe?

Feet: the first part of my body I ever truly cared for

I mean for fucks sake they are just feet. My feet were simply the things at the bottom of my legs. But a little while after this, I would start to take dance more seriously and my feet would be my everything.

Particularly after one night, sitting alone in a movie theater, where I watched Center Stage.

You know the scene, it’s the one where Jodi takes off her pointe shoes after a long day of classes and training, only to reveal the wreckage inside and I swear: My entire destiny rerouted.

I vowed that night to take care of my feet forever. I would never have the cursed dancer’s feet. I danced ballet, jazz, modern, tap… If you were a dance kid you know, it was just dance. And you did well, everything. Because of that, my feet became my foundation, my instrument, my fragile little feral workhorses.

I refused pedicures until my late twenties because the idea of someone shaving off my hard-earned calluses felt like an assault. Also, my patience for sitting in those mostly uncomfortable chairs for hours seemed insane. Especially when I knew my polish would be wiped off the second I hit the dance floor. Gel polish and dips weren’t a thing. So yeh, no thank you.

But as I got older and became a somatic practitioner, a movement facilitator, a Reiki practitioner, a woman who knows how to live in her body (even if she still does ignore it from time to time) I realized something far bigger:

Your feet aren’t just feet.

They’re the nervous system’s first line of communication. They’re your grounding. Your orientation. Your “Am I safe?”

Your entire base of support.

And most of us ignore them.

Let’s get nerdy: The science of your feet is wild

1. Your feet contain 26 bones, 33 joints, and over 100 muscles, tendons, and ligaments.

They are tiny architectural masterpieces that hold your entire body up. When was the last time you even touched your feet?

2. Each foot has more than 200,000 nerve endings.

Feet aren’t passive. They’re sensory organs sending constant data to your brain about safety, balance, and terrain. When was the last time you stepped outside barefoot?

3. Foot mobility controls everything above it.

If your feet can’t move well, your body compensates upward:

• ankles

• knees

• hips

• pelvis

• spine

• breath patterns

Think your “tight hips” are just hip issues? Sure, there’s probably old stories stored in there, but it might just be your arches or your ankles or your toes not spreading.

4. Restricted foot movement = a more activated nervous system.

Research shows: Less sensory input from the feet equals more sympathetic (fight/flight) activation.

Meaning: When your feet are disconnected, your whole system feels unsafe.

5. Barefoot movement improves balance, proprioception, and injury prevention.

The more your feet can feel, the smarter and safer your body becomes. Why do you think we want our children to be barefoot for as long as possible?

And now the woo (which is honestly just ancient nervous system wisdom)

In somatic work, the feet are the entry point to presence.

In energy work, they anchor the root chakra.

If someone can’t drop into their body, we start with the feet.

Every time.

Feet are where grounding actually starts. It’s not in your mind, or your breath, but in your literal contact with the Earth. You know, that ground beneath you. When was the last time you said hi… with your feet?

So, let’s talk about shoes

Listen: I love a good shoe, especially a pointy toe (I have long toes) with a high heel, and I will continue to sin in the name of aesthetics because I know how to support the system underneath.

But… on a daily basis we are shoving our feet into:

• pointy toes (guilty)

• stiff soles (guilty)

• elevated heels (guilty guilty)

• narrow toe boxes (hello pointe shoes)

• heavily padded “supportive” shoes (who’s rocking the Hoka’s?)

Most footwear is designed for fashion and cushioning, not the human anatomy.

Feet aren’t fragile. They’re neglected.

You think that pedicure is helping, think again. When the foundation is neglected, the whole structure responds.

How to care for your feet

These are the practices I use personally and teach often.

1. Toe Mobility (1 minute)

• Standing tall, slight bend in your knees. Try to keep your gaze forward, but I know you are going it want to look down, when you do, make sure you aren’t also leaning back into your heels.

• Allow your weight to be evenly distributed in you feet. Not leaning forward with all the weight in the ball of your foot or toes, and not leaning back with all the weight in your heels.

• Lift your toes up towards your face and spread your toes as wide as possible dropping them back down to the ground

• Next, lift only your big toe

• Then lift the other four one by one

• Switch, starting with your pinky toe this time

Why it matters: improves intrinsic foot muscle strength + arch function

2. Short Foot Exercise (The Foot Dome)

• Keep the ball of your foot + heel on the ground

• Gently lift the arch (without curling toes),

• TIP: this movement is not overly dramatic, the movement is small, but intentional

Why it matters: supports medial arch, knee alignment, hip stability

3. Ankle Circles (30–60 seconds each direction)

• Slow. Controlled. Full range.

• Another fan favorite: write the alphabet with your toes

Why it matters: improves ankle mobility, improves gait and reduces hip + back tension

4. Tennis Ball Release (1–2 minutes per foot)

Roll under the arch, heel, and forefoot.

My favorite

Why it matters: stimulates mechanoreceptors, reduces tension, increases sensory input, calms nervous system

5. Barefoot Time (5–10 minutes)

Grass, hardwood, carpet… walk anywhere.

NOTE: this might be a bit uncomfortable at first if you don’t have calluses built up just yet. Repeat after me, calluses are not the enemy. Calluses are not the enemy.

Why it matters: boosts proprioception, improves balance, enhances grounding, reduces compensatory movement patterns

6. Conscious Walking (a.k.a gait re-patterning)

Walk slowly and intentionally:

• lift the arch

• soften the toes

• lengthen through the heel strike

• push off from the big toe

Why it matters: resets dysfunctional patterns caused by years of poor footwear + disconnection

My favorite feet products:

I am not sponsored in any way by Naboso, I just genuinely love their product, use them in my sessions with clients and have gifted some of these a few times because of how obsessed I am.

• Naboso Toe Separators (Splays) - I put these on at night when I am watching tv

• Naboso Neuro Ball - I use this while I am brushing my teeth. My toothbrush had 30 second sprints, so every time I switch sides while brushing, I switch my feet positioning.

• Naboso Texture Grip Socks - I always suggest these if you have tender feet or are just getting started. These help wake up those nerve endings and strengthen the signals they are sending.

Also check out the Learning section of their website for all things feet. No one is going to judge you, but maybe clear your cache just in case.